Sunday, March 1, 2015

Cheap Shower Curtain



As a divorced working mom of three I have limited alone time. So when my alarm sounds, I hold my breath and try to float across the creaky wooden floor without disturbing the sleeping toddler in my bed or the twins in the room next door. I brew my first pot of coffee for the day and I take a seat on the couch where I give thanks for the silence.

A brief, but peaceful shower was once part of this morning routine. However, all that changed when I purchased a cheap shower curtain to replace the old dingy one not long ago. This demonic sheet of plastic, which clings to my body as soon as I turn on the faucet, has converted my shower into a battleground. Each day we face off. I struggle to wash my hair with one hand while extending the other arm horizontally against the plastic in an effort to keep it from smothering me.

Today I defeated the cheap shower curtain however. 

When I turned on the water and the curtain gravitated towards me as usual, I did not resist. Instead, I allowed the annoying, giant sheet of plastic wrap to cloak me.  I used both hands to wash my hair properly, all the while sensing the uncomfortable material taunting me, but nevertheless refusing to allow it to elicit a reaction. Instead, I felt the frustration quickly rise and then fall within me, and then I watched it wash down the drain without consuming me. 














   

Friday, January 2, 2015

I Resolve to Be Normal


My resolution this year is to be NORMAL. 

And even though it is only the second day of the year I can tell that normal is going to be a struggle. 

What do normal people do? For starters, they sleep at night. They spend time with friends and family, laugh and talk about pleasant matters. They see movies, dine out on occasion, travel once or twice a year. They go to work, but they also make time for their family and for themselves. 

I want that. All of the above.

I want to enjoy my days instead of just fighting to survive. I want the venomous communications with my ex husband to end. I want to see my loved ones' names on my caller ID, not my lawyer’s.

I want peace. Yet, how does one make peace with someone who does not want it?

I want to be normal. I just don't know how to get there.

I need a plan.